I Don't Understand

Many things in our life, we could never understand. Many times we struggle and find someone or something to be blamed. Well, normally who will we blame? Some of us may blame ourself, "Oh..what a life! Oh...My life is suck. Ahh...My life is terrible, i never being accepted or success as them!" or the familiar one, "I don't have luck. What to do, this is not my luck" Ehm... Why actually? As i read Psalm 119, i study that psalmist wrote this and most of his word is that, "I want keep Your Words, i want to dwell in Your promises, I want to obey your commands, Your command is my life, and i want to meditate on your Words day and night" Let see this,

Psa 119:27 Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works. (KJV)

Than the psalmist describe that he want that God make he understand the way God's work, God's way and God's precept so that he can knows and enjoy or so that he can understand God's wondrous works!!! Wow...that's the point! We don't understand things happen to us, because that we didn't understand God!! Yeah..some people may say, God is very hard to understand. Well, honestly guys the best way to understand God is to follow His ways. When we did not follow His ways, we never will see what He is doing and never will enjoy the miracle He is doing in our life!!

That happen to me too. Sometime i don't understand why God lead me in this situation, why God put me in this environment, why God not yet answer my prayer. Because i never follow His ways or walk together with Him! I always want to work in my own ways, follow my own demand and fulfill my own purpose!

Psa 119:49 Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope.. (ESV)

The point is, to follow God's way and understand Him is to pray all the time. Ask God, seek Him and tell Him our needs. Many times we fed up, give up, dry and force things to happen according to our own ways, but we never ask and pray. In my ministry, most of the time we encounter this. When things did not goes as we plan, we tend to sad, grumble and find someone or something to be blamed. The was a time when our church celebrate 15 Anniversary, the preparation goes well. But when the day come, suddenly someone step on the cable, cause the cable spoil and the sound did not come out! I was very mad, and very upset with the situation. Than i go back to my sit and with mix feeling. When i think back again, that is not how it suppose to be. That is not how i should react towards the situation.

This is because i did not follow God's way. There is time when i lead a worship too, i tend to use all my creativity by myself. Talk this, say that during the worship. Sing this, sing that and in the end, i can see people tend to feel very boring with the worship. The worship tend to feel so dry and make myself fell exhausted too. I thought i would lead it with all experiences i had and things that i study. But, i can't! It doesn't help me at all! Can we understand that God did not look at all of it! God look at our heart! We said, "when we do the best, God will honor it". Yes God will honor it. But not only by our own strength and creativity, it OUR HEART!!! God looking at our heart, our desire when we prepare things, our focus, and our motive when we do things!! That is the best out of us! The best for God simply mean that the thing which is beyond ourself!

To give our focus fully, to give our heart, to set our motive and eyes to God is not an easy things to do! We may distracted with other things, such as our personal life, works, and feeling. But when we give our best from all of this, God will honor it! The other thing on how we can focus is to pray to God! Always pray in any decision. Previously, most of the time i do things because of my determination, desire only, hardwork and creativity. But it is not enough when i did not pray and ask God if that this is pleasing Him, Okey for Him or should i change it?

Psa 119:81 My soul longs for your salvation; I hope in your word